️ Read Chapter 19 here: https://my.w.tt/sqpyXOCyK6 No. Like, after his death I didn’t even know what I doing most of the time. Ipagpatuloy ang pagbabasa ng susunod na bahagi. They? Sometime’s I just want to scream at my friends who never call or write. Surviving all the rape you put me through didn’t make me a survivor. Continuing with my morbid posts as of late — I pose to all of you a question. When I’m practicing my career I try to leave that exact impression on my coworkers. Whatever anyone thinks about me writing the truth about this, I’ll say once again that I’ve promised to tell the truth here, in this blog. He’s humble. Her prescription — for whatever it was — would be disposed of if she didn’t pick it up in the next 5, 4, 3…you get the idea…days. Even the dogs in the street knew that I worked far too hard. I wear my “Black Lives Matter” shirt and even with a mask on I don’t know all their names but they’re always happy to see me I try to tell them how much they mean to me Alien skin aside, I’m human. !, honestly, she didn’t know) it was too late to stop the process. And now that I am participating in a fringe sort of therapy (DBT), I’m as confused as ever. What a fucking mess I’ll answer any questions you may have regarding same. When I first read your writing Her comments that made me feel like shit aside, I relayed the information to her and hung up. So I’m just making the playlist public now and if you don’t already follow me — “taconika” — the name from which this blog was created, is a good place to start. It cannot be “cured.”. And I swear that everyday’ll get better And What Do You See? Each loss I’ve explained continues to KILL whatever “ME” is hanging around these days. The sister I’ve mourned — is the outcast. But I’m a lawyer and I’m political and cynical which is dangerous to be tryin’ so I officially retired because I know about the laws I’m fightin’, Until the 2nd Amendment gets changed or altered I know it’s not desired In conclusion, my intent is not at all to insult my readers with the phrase. Watch out because I’m coming for ya — a/k/a my writing game is about to get hard on ya. And it is funny because of it’s veracity. I can’t. Marijuana IS infinitely better for EVERYONE than alcohol. RE-UP. I guess I lost her too. Nothing but mad respect for you and wishing you all good things in your retirement. There Ain’t Enough Bottles I Could Break To Make Him Feel As Broken As I Do. Enemies with my best friend. Wheat allergy. Hearing “you fag!” asking my parents what it meant, and learning about homosexuality which shocked my world a bit but I was all good with it once I understood how completely normal it is, and that I’d previously been fed lies by my schools, so I wrote about and then presented about suicide rates among gay people in high school because of the bullying that truly left me upset. "I'm just scared..." I told him. Just say you won’t let go, I’ll wake you up with some breakfast in bed Most importantly — I AM SAFELY UNDER THE CARE OF DOCTORS 24/7 AND HAVE NO INTENTIONS TO HARM MYSELF OR OTHERS. bad movies many flaws not interesting and rather boring i would say these are just watchable Refine See titles to watch instantly, titles you haven't rated, etc Instant Watch Options And, maybe in a different post, I can reveal some tough truths about how that above statement is ironic and even maybe hypocritical. How does it feel to know I don’t want you back? It’s just so much easier making her bad decisions someone else’s problem. It makes be feel lazy Sometimes I Think She Must Get Off On Turning Me ON. It’s disgusting y’all shocked that I’m talking to another human being Thursday is the anniversary of the death of my writer (and the whole “I have known him since WAIT FOR IT: Elementary School” thing) friend. Here are four hidden dangers of pork. So after making my Mom breakfast before helping her off to work, I tried to leave my sister a voicemail to let her know. Don’t ask me to lie She killed me. THEY’RE IMPORTANT TO ME AND THEY WERE WASTED ON HER.EXACTLY LIKE ALL OF THE TIME I WASTED ON HER. Her number 3 fan. And I’ll take the kids to school I need to digest why that even matters to me I think) is such an amazing friend that she even offered to and actually did reach out to my sister on my behalf. "What happened, Li? So many have spoken My heart hurts so much. For a minute, I forget that I’m older A minor thing does make a difference, I’m not special magkasunod na tanong ni Mac. But I’m trying. We danced the night away, we drank too much Not this exactly but my closest friends know she’s my hair inspiration. Because he/she might be gone for good tomorrow. Read story Bad For You by justcallmecai (Captain C) with 67,972 reads. Imagine a game of Scategories, except it’s real life and you’re being examined by someone who doesn’t understand why you need your Mommy with you — with the added pressure of COVID-19 regulations. as I remember being held down and raped. Morally? (I’m SO writing about said circumstances soon because I want anyone who might happen upon this and who might not get it — to get woke. I acted out because I’m hurt. I’ve lost too many people to ACTUAL death — I just can’t deal with those still alive who decide to act dead to me. And white hate’s desired I’m tired of hearing, “I met someone else.”, I’m tired of saying, “I met someone else.”. That’s the endgame with ALL of my writing. (He wanted me to go to Church that year, for the record). And they’re both beautiful. I realized how attracted I am to certain types of men physically — but I’m also incredibly attracted to women who break gender norms. And I’ll probably continue to cry, quite literally, for them both from time to time. "Hey..." Mac called and immediately held my hand. I read an interview once in which he talked very openly about his drug use prior to “Glee,” telling others that the show helped him get away from all of that and how grateful he was. Then I guess I’ll never get better if I’m an alcoholic, because I can’t admit I’m powerless while also saying I can control and get over my addiction. You can’t get past insults Why wouldn’t I look them in the eye to show respect? And, the great thing about me is that I am able to be honest with my friends because I value them, and I would not lie to them initially just to throw the withheld information which happens to be hurtful in nature back at them later merely because I’m being called out on my poor decision making. Stronger Than I Was. I don’t know who I used protection with or not. And as I’ve gotten sicker and started losing so many people, I kind of (?????) As always, be good to each other . Transgender and Transexual people were not explained to or understood by me until I read a novel in law school (it’s called “Golden Boy”) and then I understood that my own gender and sexuality was normal and I own that shit. I don’t feel like we’ve come that far. It’s one of many he left behind. I’m so tired of using (sometimes just the suggestion of) sex as a reason for a guy to like me. I’ll miss watching you play, but you’ve more than earned this, baby. My cognition is essentially jumbly and totally fucked. gave up. Lies tie us together. But I wanna stay with you until we’re grey and old And I didn’t care. All Black Lives Matter! Just say you won’t let go, Just say you won’t let go (<— JK about the sistergift friendship BFF rings. Strong Women teaching me Radical Acceptance. As much as I DON’T care how you judge me, I DO care about my story being told in my own words so that when you INEVITABLY juxtapose your life choices against mine — you’ll be able to grapple with ALL of the facts and information I can possibly provide. Upsides[? I admire her because she makes it EXACTLY as much of everyone’s business as she feels she should. mahina kong sabi, kahit gusto ko lakasan ay parang nanghihina pa ako. No No No. AJ Bad for You ℗ Cope Records Released on: 2020-06-18 Auto-generated by YouTube. If one can convince oneself that they’re the one alienating everyone they ever cared about — they can alleviate the pain that comes from the truth: everyone’s just not into whether you live or die. And guess how many people died from using marijuana! But if you catch me on my phone when we’re hanging out together — nah. I’m so tired of not being upfront about me wanting a forever partner. Another day on those shenanigans.). Even if I told you Intentionally putting oneself in a situation that one KNOWS will totally make their life worse but choosing it anyway. She is being expunged from my home as I write this, even. I always own my shit. New Vibe featuring Gusto Kalel Follow me on Instagram for updates and selfies. ", "Sa binti lang naman ang tama ko." I have friends on a variety of parts of the sexual identity/gender spectrum which I think is fucking amazing. Head shoulders knees and toes justcallmecai, garnet, academy. I’m not talking about for a split second either. And I can admit when I’m wrong. Just say you won’t let go, I wanna live with you I need it to stay alive. gbs, academy, wattys2020. About a month or two ago. (He’s actually just a really great dentist with a really great staff.) But never quite letting me drown. I Been Sober, ‘Cause There Ain’t No Hangover Like You. By the rich white bullies who won’t stop defending guns that fire I attack my body to protect me — us Anyway — in order to send this card I wrote — I jokingly asked my Mom if my sister’s address was the same or if she had moved for like the 19th time in her life. It’s pride month. What I’ve done wrong before, I’m mesmerized Which was a lot of time. I’m not going down whatever path you’re pulling me toward. Addiction to sex with people who are not me. I’m the only one who’d know this, but it takes me between 3-8++ hours to write a blog post I’m willing to publish on my site — whatever length — and even then I’m NEVER satisfied — constantly rereading for mistakes or edits or content. Stream Bad For You Ft. Gusto Kalel by huntermoramusic from desktop or your mobile device. It’s weak and meek and it’s time it gets rewired I CANNOT think of words that I KNOW when being asked WHATEVER by whatever Doctors I talk to/see. In everything I read, or everything I watch, when I insert myself into the place of the narrator/protagonist/etc. It’s like this is all a game and I haven’t been told what the rules are. If my Dad were still alive….Everything in my life would be better. You made me feel as though I was enough It’s just a stain I never cared too much for him as a player, but he blew me the fuck away protesting respectfully as he did. "Yes, but you need to undergo therapy.". There is no excuse that could justify her behavior toward me. Then Mac needed to find her. Kind. I merely replied with “OK. Blue lines paid for by cities who support those opposin’ Or Are You Deceived? I have to say I’ve never regretted the tradeoff: MY PROTEST OF SOMETHING I LOVED FOR THE SAKE OF SOMETHING THAT MATTERED MORE TO ME. My Dad wouldn’t be going to her wedding next summer if I was told I was unwelcome, (and of course I’m not involved let alone invited because I’m DEAD). Now, as I mentioned, this week is hitting me really hard. If you’re advocating for ANY Black Life, yet attack BLACK LGBTQIA++ LIVES as LESS THAN YOUR HETERO BLACK LIFE, I TRULY DON’T THINK YOU’RE UNDERSTANDING THE MOVEMENT. Because Drunk Me Can’t Get Over You. Queue the lyrics to my song of choice for this revelation: I met you in the dark, you lit me up What's wrong?". Y’all embarrassing our country AND THAT EXCUSE IS SO TIRED Life is not nearly as simple as labeling. More. Death. Look on the (United States) government’s website. So watch out bitches, because those who have been telling me I can’t withstand the storm do not yet know that I AM THAT MOTHERFUCKING STORM. I guess she’s afraid I might send her flowers for National School Counselor’s Appreciation Week for the 7th year in a row. But. SO IF you ARE lucky enough to be a “friend” of hers — and you tell her about it, let me tell you something very important: you’re a garbage person. “The problem — she’s starting to understand — is that a man will never let you fall completely into Hell. I’ll bring you coffee with a kiss on your head I’m tired of feeling everything I feel in any kind of way. Bad For You is now updated! I didn’t even think to ask WHY this “thing” is even called a freckle!!!!! We had to get out and run as fast we can. And I mourn her. I lose zero sleep over what I write: what I write is my truth. I have more memories about us with music than not. Me. Or do I just have really really really shitty friends. Not a single person has the right to control anyone else "Let's ask the nurses outside.". Keep your fingers and toes crossed for me kids that I don’t fumble this connection on the 3rd down and long. I was the best. We’ve come so far my dear Your garden is doing great, Pidgey. It’s not like I have to go to my sister’s wedding because I’m not invited. But INSTEAD, this person who is supposed to influence young minds in a positive way, had someone at her job actually write, “return to sender,” and refused the mail. "Just a little scratch so no one will suspect her." I’m proud I cared then. I see mine too And I’mma still be humble when I scream “FUCK YOU” #gbs But Imma Still Be Humble When I Scream “Fuck You” Cause I’m Stronger Than I Was. And she lost everything because of it... Yaman, mga kaibigan, at ang pinakamamahal niyang si Mac De Guzman. You try to lie it and bury it and ignore it away. I’m tired of wanting to tell him so many things all the time but understanding he REALLY doesn’t care about me anymore. I can't tell him that. Let me start by saying…I hate this more than so many things. I wanna dance with you right now So I go in, they hold me and my tongue down for 6 hours at a time, while I can’t move, escape, cry, leave, move, talk, bite, fight back, etc. I can never give up on someone I love. I bet they go through it every day #heir I’m a 34 year old single woman and I still do things like this: When I’m using my rational mind — I don’t even think mourning him is all that crazy. In so many ways that it sets my brain on fire and there’s no place left in me to put that. Women with certain features, LIKE Shane and Max from “The L Word” are basically my dream partners for life. It’s not fair to them. "You don't look like you're okay, Li." But I’ve accepted that the probability of getting to do the things again that I wanted to do is slim. My poor Mom has to find/think of/remember words for me. I’ve always been terrible at math — something every law professor I ever had made a joke about in at least one lecture during the semester, which I always thought was odd as Hell — but I digress. My Dad. I can think of reasons which make sense of this type of distancing. I’m just calling out the one person that I Know for a fact toLd her about anything I’ve written in the past, to not be a shit friend.It’s not your place.Leave it alone. So I’m calling y’all out because you done made the Storm spiral Don’t be a Netflix binge series. Time to live a year with no regrets and complete positivity instead — (I know — NOT my strong points since the Hell that was law school, but I’m doing the work and will continue to). Instead I’m held prisoner by the cruelest guard They’re the ones in uniform firing bullets again I now have a freckle in one of my eyes. Just like I am supremely attracted to specific types of men. Refilling these. It’s stronger I wanna destroy them even. "I'll call a nurse, okay? These are all words or phrases that are used in the real estate industry. And I woke up in my childhood bed — wishing I was someone else — feeling sorry for myself — When I remembered someone’s kid is dead. heir, justcallmecai, gbs. Author’s Note: This poem/work was originally written on December 5, 2003. Don’t ask my opinion I fucking hate myself for it. Who Want To See My Greatness? Pork is one of the most commonly consumed meats in the world, but it may also be the most harmful. I AM also supremely attracted to specific types of women. But a Storm’s coming bitches The friends I have are amazing in every way I should hope for. I couldn’t be more honored that she is accepting me as a sister. Best Believe I’m Pay-per-view. . 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